Today was the first day of preschool for my 3 years old girl. She walked so happily and confidently into the new classroom filled with new faces. The teacher welcomed her with a sweet smile and showed her space for the lunch bag.
"Welcome Miriam this is your first day are you excited?" teacher approached her
"Ahoj! Mimi hrat-play s dedicky and run with kids!" responded my daughter while giggling and jumping around me. I could read the confusion on the teacher's face immediately. My daughter often mixes a foreign language with English.
"She is raised bilingually and I speak mostly Slovak language with her." I smiled hoping I hide my nervous tone.
The teacher told me they have other bilingual kids in the class and that it is very common for kids that age to mix the language and not to worry about it. I knew she was trying to comfort me so the first day is good for the mom too. I told her that Miriam understands well and speaks better English than Slovak. I reminded my daughter to speak English at school. As soon as I picked her the teacher said that she had a good first day but she did sometimes answered in a foreign language or looked confused a bit when she was asked questions. "Well, that's because she is learning more than one language, isn't that great?!" I reminded the teacher again with a positive tone in my voice. I wanted her to know I am aware of it and that it does not bother me at all.
I knew this moment will come when I decided to raise my kids bilingually. I often notice people's confused looks, and need to explain curious questions whenever I speak Slovak publicly.
"What language is it, I never heard it before?" "Does your daughter understand English too?"
"Is it Russian, French, Portuguese....?
I respond with a proud voice and always mention that I was raised and born in a different country and my whole family still lives there. It is a reminder for me (and others) why it's important for my kids to speak their mother tongue. It is a great advantage to learn to be bilingual from such a young age. I have always got supportive opinions. But there are times I feel uncertain or even nervous about bilingual parenting when raising my kids. Maybe because there have been times when I felt shy about my accent. I did not want to be seen as 'not enough American" in the eyes of native speakers. It took some time but I learned how and why to be proud of my foreign origin. I am proud of my heritage and my journey as an ex-pat in America.
I wanted to know how other international moms in Jacksonville feel about speaking a foreign language with their kids. I asked this question on a Jacksonville Facebook moms group site:
"Are there any international bilingual moms here? I speak my native language with my daughters at home, but when we are outside in public spaces I speak frequently English with them. Otherwise, I am always stopped (especially in grocery stores) and asked many questions lol like what language is it, what country am I from etc. I don't hear often many parents speaking a foreign language with their kids here. Just wondering what is your preference."
There were more than 80 comments from other bilingual and even non-bilingual moms. The majority of responses and opinions very encouraging. There were moms who speak their native language at home and in public spaces, then moms who don't but wish they did, moms who started but stopped, and moms that decided to speak at household only English. Many moms said that they stopped the bilingual journey when the kids started preschool or kindergarten. The reason was exactly the one I got so nervous about this morning when my daughter started speaking mixed English in front of the teacher. Every parent wants their kids to thrive when starting school, find new friends, and flourish while learning. And unfortunately, many educators will discourage parents from a bilingual journey when kids enter preschool or daycare. A speech delay is mentioned very often. It is true that when learning 2 languages at the same time they will mix them and pick the words they are easier for them. They will speak English better as soon as they start school as they will be in contact with English most of the time during the day. I do not want to stress about their English now. I know they will become proficient and speak native English faster than 2nd language. So I will rater now focus on using my native language whenever I am speaking with my kids so they can benefit in the future from being bilingual. And if you are like me and sometimes doubt if it's not going to harm their English, or about other's opinions when speaking your native language publicly read some of the beautiful responses on my FB post:
Here are a few of the benefits I would like to highlight for other parents that find themself unsure if they should start/continue speaking a foreign language with their kids :
Benefits of raising bilingual kids:
With your mother tongue, you can express your real emotions better and build closer connections with your kids.
I speak more confidently in my native language, especially whenever I need to express emotions. My kids understand unique words and phrases when we are cuddling, or calling them silly names to make them laugh or when cooking our native food. It just feels often more natural for me to speak my first language.
Educational advantage and brain development
Kids that speak more than one language can learn other new languages much faster.
"Welcome to the world of trilingual or multilingual unique souls."
Communication and close connection with family living abroad
Whenever my kids visit and meet their grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, and other family members. Not everyone speaks English. Actually, my parents do not speak English at all. So I really need my kids to be able to talk, laugh, and genuinely connect with all family in their native language. I don't want to be the translator dealing with awkward situations whenever I am with my family abroad or when they are staying with us during the visit.
The high value of the second language in adulthood when entering a workplace
Life is unpredictable and my kids may decide to move and live abroad one day. Same as I did (actually several times in my life). They may decide working or studying abroad and I want them to be able to speak at least one foreign language. So why not start with my native language that I know the best. They can translate for others (for example for their grandparents) when it will be needed.
Unique social connection and friendships
Bilingual people are more open-minded I know it from myself as I love to learn new skills and meet new people. By moving to a foreign country I had to adapt to the new cultures, languages, and food. I had to be open to start doing things in different ways than I was used to. I want my kids to be surrounded by other kids that have foreign parents as it will teach them the value of diversity. People are different and can teach us new ways of doing things.
"Appreciating cultural diversity is what I consider beautiful and important in this world. "
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